To be more effective interpersonally, it may be helpful to take a thoughtful look at how intensely you approach interactions where you are asking for something or saying no to something. There are many factors to consider when deciding the most effective intensity to use in an interaction, which include:

Capabilty
Priorities
Self-respect
Rights
Authority
Relationship
Long-term versus Short-term Goals
Homework
Reciprocity
Timing

Watch this video to learn about how to determine more what intensity level may be most effective.